Pagans Aren't Organized

“Dude, Pagans don’t have an agenda. They’re Pagans. Organizational skills, eh, not their strong suit.”
– Jon Stewart responding humorously to a comment by Bob Jones in 2004

As dismissive as that comment is, it's right on the money. Pagans don't have a national agenda, and organizational skills? We are certainly lacking in that department. Now don't get me wrong, there are plenty of organized Pagans, and there are even some Pagans with strong organizational skills. But as a National Group of individuals, we are unorganized, and we don't really have an agenda.

I was reading a blog entry about this that I stumbled across on facebook. Most of the post was about getting Jason Pitzl-Waters of The Wild Hunt Blog on to the Daily Show**. Fair cause, there are probably two million of us, more Pagans than Jews,* and I'm sure there's been a rabbi on there a time or two. Jon Stewart is generally an "equally opportunity host," meaning he'll have people on his show he and his audience will vehemently disagree with. I love that about The Daily Show, but he's still never had a Pagan on there.

The Jon Stewart quote that started this piece off is being used a rallying point to prove Stewart wrong (you can read the blog piece that started me off on my merry meandering way here: http://www.patheos.com/community/paganportal/2011/05/13/organized-pagans-proving-jon-stewart-wrong/), but I can't find any evidence that he is wrong. The Pitzl-Waters petition is fizzling out, and the largest amount of likes on facebook by what we'd assume is the Pagan community is only 58,000 and that is for the publisher Llewellyn. (Quick note about Llewellyn, they sell a lot of books about general "New Age" topics, and tons of astrology stuff, Llewellyn and Pagan are not synonymous). Witchvox has 27,000 fans, and we can be reasonably sure they are all Pagans, not very good really. Witchschool has 9,000 fans which is 8,992 more fans then they should have.

So yeah, we aren't very organized, we can't even agree on things to like on facebook. Shit, while reading facebook I'm always surprised at how many conservative Pagans there are out there. It's hard to argue that Pagans are fighting for "religious freedom and equality" when I see that someone is a fan of Sarah Palin or is voting with the GOP in a state election. Of course there's nothing wrong with being conservative, or disliking government, but there is something wrong with voting for a political party that refuses to allow gays to marry or to protect the rights of minority religions, like ours. (If you have to vote right, vote Libertarian or something.)

At the local level there's so much infighting and snipping that nothing gets done. A few years ago, back in Michigan, I contacted the organizers of my local "Pagan Pride Day," which was a tiny little event. I didn't want to take over the event or anything, I just wanted to show some support, maybe do a few workshops or something. I didn't hear anything back. I tried again a year later and I heard through the grapevine that the organizers didn't want to have me help out, even though I could have offered financial, logistical, and promotional support. Heaven forbid someone else reflect the limited glory of a Pagan Pride Event. You can't be organized when your ego won't allow you to accept any help.

Anyone who puts on a Pagan Festival is a braver person than I. I can't imagine the amount of work and headaches it would entail, but I can bet that those headaches would be a lot less if the organizers would just ask for help once in awhile. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to a festival that's a total cluster-fuck. What's most annoying is that I know if someone had just said "We need some help" that there would be 100 folks ready to give their time and talents away, for free. Pagans can't organize a festival for 1000 people half the time, no wonder we can't get 100,000 people to sign a petition.

(There are some organized festivals out there, and the ones that are, generally have dozens and dozen of volunteers making sure everything is running smoothly. Not surprising huh?)

How long does the average eclectic Pagan circle last? Two years on average or something like that? It's pitifully short. There are some organized covens and groups that have lasted a few decades, but what's the turnover like? I bet it's high, especially in leadership positions. Pagans just aren't like other groups, there aren't enough Pagan sheep to ever be like other groups.

Most religious groups are full of sheep, followers. Those individuals have no desire to lead a congregation or a synagogue, or to ever be in a position of power. Pagans are the exact opposite, there are very few sheep. I think that a lot of that has to do with the type of personality necessary to become a Pagan in the first place-someone who refuses to accept the status quo, with the inner-strength to choose an unconventional path. This high percentage of "Type A" personalities is both a blessing and a curse.

It's a blessing because it enriches our Pagan landscape. I like going to as many different kinds of rituals as possible, and experiencing lots of different stuff. If people didn't branch out and do their own thing that wouldn't happen. So the fact that we aren't all sitting together in a pew reading out of the same hymnal is a strength, we get this much broader worldview if we want it.

Of course it's also a curse. There's more pettiness because everyone wants to be in charge. I'm sure there are people not signing the Pitzl-Waters blog because they feel as if they should be the one going on The Daily Show. It's hard to ever get super-organized because that would mean acknowledging someone might be in a higher position in the community than we are. Due to our general unorganizedness I contribute to the Red Cross instead of a Pagan charity, I just don't know where that money is going, making us look more unorganized of course.

So Pagans are unorganized, and I doubt it's going to change anytime soon. In the years to come I think we will have a tremendous influence on pop culture, and in some places, will turn into an organized force in our communities, but I don't see us organizing enough to have a national presence. We might hop on the backs of some nature groups or whatever, but they won't become "Pagan," just "Pagan influenced."

That brings up one final question, do I want us to be organized? I don't know. I'd like to see more Pagans make wise decisions about who we elect and what we do in our communities, but I'm not sure that's organization. I have mixed feelings about it. I like the fluidity of Paganism, and I wouldn't want someone defining the absolute rights and wrongs of it, organization could lead to that. ("We'd have loved to have Mr. Mankey involved, but he does worship Jim Morrison as Dionysus and we just can't be having that associated with our group," or what if someone decided the poly-people couldn't participate?) So it's a slippery slope, though getting enough of us in agreement that the government didn't mock our faith would be a positive, I just don't know how to go about it.

That's all I've got today, thanks for reading!

*I love knowing that, and it's something I will probably come back to over and over for the next couple of years.

**Some of the reasoning to have Pitzl-Waters on the show was as a rebuttal to right wing nut-job David Barton, but it's not like Jon Stewart doesn't call those guys out.

Osama, The Summerlands, and Hell

I was euphoric last night. The United States had finally captured Osama Bin Laden. I'm not generally in favor of the death penalty, but I was glad he was killed. This world is a better place without Bin Laden.

Right after news outlets began reporting his death, I wrote something on my facebook account about "Obama burning in hell." It didn't really occur to me until this morning that I don't believe in hell, at least most of the time. Modern Pagan attitudes about the afterlife vary greatly, and are sometimes even non-existant.

One of the drawbacks (and a strength) to being a people "without a book" is that Pagans have very "lacking" views on the afterlife. This isn't a new thing either. The paganisms of antiquity were equally quiet. The Greek afterlife was a place of no joy or suffering (usually, there were some exceptions), it was just a place. Many of the Greek Mystery Traditions seemed to believe in reincarnation on this world, and a more joyous afterlife-you got to hang with Dionysus for instance. The Norse had different levels of expectation and the Celts seemed to believe in reincarnations, but they were also buried with their stuff suggesting "you can take it with you" and a life in another world.

As a Pagan I'm expected to believe in reincarnation, and I do for the most part. I'm not exactly sure how it works, but I believe in the immortality of the soul and I think it's likely that our souls return to this world over and over again. The waiting room between trips in Modern Paganism is generally referred to as "The Summerlands," and I'm hopeful that it's as pleasant as it sounds. Paganism has always been more concerned with this life, and not the next one. If reincarnation is real, it helps to explain a lot of weird thing that have happened in my life.

Every once in awhile I run into someone that I swear I've known forever, without that being possible. Usually it's a very intense experience with a lover or girlfriend. The attraction is instantaneous, and there's just this weird feeling of "knowing" that we both share. Usually those relationships burn out in a matter of weeks, but they have to have a root cause somewhere, and reincarnation has always made sense.

When I explain the idea of reincarnation at a Pagan 101 class I tend to talk about the world as a learning experience, an experience that takes a few trips to get the hang off. I assume that eventually you figure out the point of existence and merge with a higher consciousness, or find yourself at some sort of peace surrounded by loved ones. Part of me also thinks lives are a constant stream of whacky adventures, perhaps on different levels of existence. Maybe we get to be dragons at some point, or demons, or aliens, I don't know.

I'm guessing we come back as people most incarnations, but who's to say? Maybe someone likes to dress up like a pony and have sex because they were a horse in a past life? Perhaps my ex-girlfriend purred because she was a cat last time. I don't really know. Nobody does.

A part of me also believes that the afterlife is what you want it to be. I have trouble imagining my grandparents reincarnating and being apart. In my mind I don't really picture them in heaven, I just picture them holding each other staring into an eternal sunset arms wrapped around one another. That's probably what they would have wanted, so in my mind they got it. They weren't asking for 70 virgins or anything absurd, they only wanted to be together. I believe the gods are good, and that for really great people (and yeah I'm a homer here, but my grandparents really were) there are some rewards and exemptions.

Speaking of exemptions, Osama Bin Laden deserves a special place in the hell I don't believe in. Yeah, I don't believe in hell. The idea that a God up there is playing "cosmic score card" is rather ridiculous. So a four year old kid dies in a tragic accident and goes to hell because he stole some chapstick and didn't go to church? Yeah, no. That doesn't jive with me.

Of course there are people who truly deserve something like hell. Perhaps Bin Laden will be reincarnated as a bird and get swallowed by the Sarlac Pit (yeah, "Jedi" reference there, I'm a dork, what are you going to do?). I've read enough myth, the gods can be rather vengeful, and sometimes people deserve punishment. Maybe "hell" is the realization that you've absolutely disappointed your god or prophet. Maybe right now Bin Laden is having a conversation with Allah and Muhammed.

Bin Laden: I have served you O Allah, now I await my reward in paradise.

Allah: Reward? You've ruined my name. You've made billions of people hate me, how have you done my will?

Bin Laden: But I have just done what the Prophet instructed (looks imploring at Muhammed).

Muhammed: Where did you get the idea that I wanted you to kill thousands of innocent people? You disgust me.

Allah: Let's feed him bacon.

Bin Laden begins crying and continues crying through eternity.

One of the craziest things about death and the afterlife is that no one knows. People think they do, but there's no proof of anything. I have to believe in the soul, the world is too magickal for there to be nothing at the heart of it all, but what happens to it is anyone's guess. If the afterlife is what you make it, there are several thousand people poking Bin Laden right now with sticks.

The Spring Mix '11

For the last eight years Ari and I have a tradition of creating a "Spring Mix" of music. When we were living in Michigan that "Spring Mix" was a sort of quiet hope, a hope for warm days, no snow, reading on the porch. Now that I've been swimming in March out here in California, it's a little different, but this year's Beltane "Spring Mix" is the promise of an awesome summer, sun soaked days, nights at the beach, and hikes in the mountains! Enjoy

XTC has made some amazing Pagan-themed albums. Check out "Apple Venus" Volumes One and Two, along with "Skylarking." Gotta love songs about Maypoles!

This gorgeous track comes from the new Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers album "Unida Cantina."

A song doesn't have to explicitly be about "Spring" to make my "Spring Mix" it just has to put me in a certain mood/state of mind. "I've Never Done" by Bowling For Soup fills the bill nicely.

Ari would kill me if I left "Come All Ye" by Fairport Convention:

Probably only because it's new and I'm digging the beats, but you can't go wrong with new

Beastie Boys, this is "Make Some Noise."

"Gentle Arms of Eden" by Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. Dave was an amazing song writer, and Grammer has one of my favorite voices in music.

There's nothing more "Beltane" than "Beltaning," and while "Courtin in the Kitchen" is not the ideal location, it can be a lot of fun. Jason is a huge Gaelic Storm fan.

"D'yer Ma'ker" is loathed by many Zeppelin fans, but I've always thought it was a fun summertime romp.

My musical tastes are all over the board, and there's nothing more "all over" than including David Arkenstone's "Road to the Faire" from "The Celtic Book of Days." I just love this instrumental piece. Yeah, it makes no sense after Zeppelin, but "Spring" doesn't make sense sometimes. It's 80 degrees one day, 52 the next . . . . .

Summer and Spring are about "Friendship," good times, and Tenacious D!

I'd put "(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay" right up there with the greatest rock and roll songs of all day. We love and miss you Otis.

My favorite "Spring" song of all time is Richard Shindell's "Spring" but it's not available on youtube or anything. Do yourself a favor and find it on Itunes.

On Ritual

(This entry is about ritual, and references a few. There are no names involved, but if you feel like I'm a big jerk after reading this, know that's not my intention. I know my expectations are high, perhaps unreasonably so, and I do appreciate the efforts of anyone who leads public ritual. It's not easy, and I thank you for doing it.)

This Saturday Ari and I will be attending two Beltane rituals. On Sunday we might go to one or two more. So far, there's been a lot of opportunity for ritual in the Bay Area. I'm excited about a Beltane weekend with rituals in the woods and along the ocean shore. I'm also thrilled that it's supposed to be sunny and bright, and warm. Those are things that didn't usually happen in Michigan.

Despite all of my excitement, I'm a little worried. I am a ritual snob, and so far our ritual experiences in California have been anti-climactic. Now we've only been to "open circles" and I know full well the perils and problems of performing ritual in that vein. There are always lots of concerns, and a tendency to never go "full throttle," to much unknown energy in the circle for that kind of thing. I get that, I don't expect to have some amazing transformative experience at such gatherings, but I expect something.

The first ritual we went to featured some very nice people, and while we were politely ignored by some of the folks there, most everyone was welcoming. The ritual its self was mostly seated and didn't really involve anyone outside of the High Priest and High Priestess running the ritual. Despite twenty minutes calling the quarters and casting the circle, the whole thing was done in less than thirty minutes.

Our second ritual experience was on the beach under a beautiful swollen full moon. Again, people were very nice to us, but the ritual was over in about the same time as the first and there was very little interaction between the High Priest and everyone else in the circle. On the plus side, I loved the energy that was created, and the setting alone was magickal. I'm going to steal one of the songs we used in the ritual. So there were things I liked about it, but it was also "slight."

I don't know if "slight" is the right word, but it seems to fit my purposes. "Slight Ritual" is quick ritual that doesn't involve everyone. It's sort of like peaking up under the skirt of The Goddess, instead of standing before Her reveling in all of Her glory. It's ritual that leaves you wanting more, kind of like going out to eat and only having the appetizer and never getting your meal. It's the kind of ritual that makes me look at Ari when we are done and say "When we get home I want you to read The Charge of the Goddess for me."

I'm sure I've performed "slight" ritual on a number of occasions. There are moments when the creative juices are just not flowing, or the energy in the room is so strange that I feel the need to cut things short. None of us are perfect, and we all have bad days. I know that some of the rituals I've done at festivals have been far to short. We can aim for perfection, but we all usually fall short of the mark.

Perhaps my concern over "slight" rituals stems from the fact that I haven't done very many in the past couple of years. Lansing Michigan is certainly not the Pagan Capitol of the country, but we were blessed with some amazing writers of ritual: Mel, Teresa, Jerry, Eddie, Sarah Kate, Christopher, Ari, and probably myself. (Names are incomplete out of respect, don't know who wants name checked in my blog you know.) I'm sure I'm forgetting a few there too. We were lucky, much larger communities aren't usually that fortunate.

In my mind great rituals requires six things:

1. Welcoming atmosphere

2. Calling the Quarters/Casting the Circle (setting up the ritual)

3. Invoking the Goddess and God (even my Horned God rituals have a spot for Her.)

4. Something interactive that involves everyone

5. Cakes and Ale

6. Clean Up/Thank you's

I realize that not all of these are easy steps. Creating an atmosphere free of cliques and an environment that goes out of its way to include everyone is near impossible. This could be the hardest part of any public ritual. I like to think I tried to make everyone feel welcome during my days of leading open ritual, but I'm not sure I always succeeded. I do remember approaching people I didn't know several times, but did I do it every time? I'm not sure and it's doubtful. Probably too busy flirting with girls and drinking cider, but I do know that if I saw a wallflower on the outside looking in I tried to talk with him/her.

So far in California I've been lucky enough to know someone at every ritual we've attended. Usually I know someone "going in," but beyond that I've had several people recognize me at things. That is a nice feeling, and it's a huge help when trying to put roots down in a new community. I can't imagine what it's like when you don't know anyone at all.

Casting circles and calling the quarters is pretty easy, and is something most people get right at ritual. Sure, there are always people who walk widdershins around the circle causing my eyes to bug out, but that's a small thing. About the only time I've seen a quarter calling get truly messed up is when it was happening and I wasn't aware of it happening. People do things in different ways, a heads up on how the ritual is going to unfold before hand can be a good thing. (Of course, the expectation is sometimes "everyone knows how it's going to unfold, except for you Midwesterners.)

Invoking the gods should never be problematic, but Ari and I have had so many positive experiences with this aspect of ritual over the years that it can be problematic. I need more than just "Goddess of Spring join us tonight." I need "Once in a month and better it be when the moon is full . . . . . . And ye shall dance, sing, feast, make music and love, all in My praise . . ." You know the rest. I wouldn't say ritual is incomplete without those words, but it comes close.

There was a Midsummer several (several) years ago when Ari and I felt like outsiders in our own community. It was nobody's fault really, we just all had different little groups and whatever, shit happens. The ritual that night, at one of my favorite ritual spots ever, was just a little off. It didn't work for whatever reason, and felt incomplete. If I remember correctly there was no "deity" really in it. So when we were done I grabbed a blanket, my Ari, and our BoS's and headed off away from everyone else. We decided that skyclad on Midsummer was the way to go and I had Ari read the Charge of the Goddess for me. When she was done I read the Charge of the God. We then made love under the moon, ritual complete.

I have such a strong relationship with deity, and such a huge need for liturgy, that anything less than the most absolute heartfelt Call to the Goddess along with the words of Valiente tends to leave me feeling incomplete. When invoking deity I expect to feel Goddess and God in the circle with me. These are high expectations, and perhaps more of an indictment on me than anyone else. For if I can't "find her within, I will never find her without," still I have this need for it during ritual.

Many circles tend to ignore The God completely, or pay Him just the tiniest amount of lip service. For a full fledged Panhead and member of the Horned God Army this is always a problem. A ritual without a complete dose of Vitamin P* nearly leaves me sick. Do I have an insane connection to The God? Hell yes. Can I draw Him down at a near moment's notice? Does His energy sometime consume my being? Can I lead ritual and fill a room full of Pan or Dionysian Energy? Hell yes to all of those things.

Now I don't expect others to have this sort of connection, and that's fine. But what I would like is the chance to feel Him in the circle. It's not good enough to allow just one horn into the circle, I need both. Something equal in appreciation to The Goddess is always welcome. Is it hard for me to pull myself back in ritual sometimes and stop myself from saying "I am he who abides in the deepest darkerst woods. It is my place to be with the creatures of the forest running in the cloak of blackest night. With bow strung across my back I make my home with the Earth. I am the defender of the sacredness of nature. I am the Great God." He's like an inch that has to be scratched, and absolute essential part of ritual for me.

Besides creating a welcoming environment, putting together something that everyone can be involved with in ritual is a challenging task. In a large public circle that challenge grows even bigger. The easy solution is usually just to chant or give people something, and those are fine things, but I tend to want a little something more. In a perfect world what goes on in the middle of circle will make me laugh (spring/summer/harvest) or perhaps make me introspective (late fall/winter). What it should do is change my consciousness in some way.

Knowing that I'm making magick changes my consciousness. It's one thing to be given something, it's another to put my heart and energy into it, and be encouraged to do so. I want to look upon deity at ritual, experience something outside of my usual day to day routine. I want to feel love, I want to feel that I can accomplish anything and that the world is mine for the taking. That's what great ritual does, and when we are done we might even all be a little bit tired. Witchcraft is work, I want do work in circle.

Cakes and Ale is like calling the quarters, very rarely does this get messed up. It's a time for fellowship, good humor, and creating community. It should be more than just mindless cup and cookie passing, it should be a moment of thanks to the Gods for all they have given us. (And even in the midst of this country's current circumstances there is a lot to be thankful: food, drink, music, a warm summer's day, the smile and wink of a lover, the list goes on and on.)

I'm going to approach this weekend with an open mind and an open heart. I do realize that anyone who leads ritual generally is doing their best, and that I do have crazy high expectations. But also, ritual is what you make of it. We do have the power to transform our circumstances, and yes, sometimes you can hear me whispering "Pan, Pan, Pan" under my breath at ritual, having my moment with Him. Sure I'd love to share that moment and really get involved with it, but I do try and be polite.

Viva la ritual.

*That's "Vitamin Pan" of course, a phrase coined by British occultist and New Agey Christian Dion Fortune.

The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Myths

I don't take the myths of my gods literally. I don't think Athena popped out of the head of Zeus, or that Dionysus was born from the Lightning God's thigh. I have no idea if Syrinx really turned herself into a bunch of reeds while being chased by Pan (though I wouldn't blame her), and frankly I don't care one way or the other if it actually happened.

Myths illustrate things about the gods. The stories of Pan raping nymphs are in there because when you call upon Him, it is very easy to lose control. That doesn't mean all Panheads are rapists, it just means that those who foolishly call Him might do something they don't intend to. Worshipping Aphrodite does not one make promiscuous, but getting lost in the power of Aphrodite might. Myths reveal all that is good, and bad about a deity, and it is a constantly evolving thing.

Myths also illuminate cultures. Zeus was able to give birth to sons and daughters because Greece was a patriarchal society, a man giving birth to his own son or daughter is a display of power, a triumph over the natural order. It's probably less an indictment against Zeus, and more of one against certain men in Greece, similar to how Yahweh's wife was written out of the Old Testament by a different set of men.

I got myself into trouble last week because a few people inferred from my rather snarky post that I discount myth. Nothing could be further from the truth. Myth is truth, about a society, a people, a god. I don't take it literally, but I do heed its warnings.

Last week I was trying to illustrate the differences between (some of) the followers of Monotheistic versus Pagan faiths. To me the story of "Exodus" is a myth, there's no historical evidence for it, and its purpose seems to be to illustrate the nature of Yahweh. In Exodus, his nature is revealed as angry and warlike, a war god par excellence who can bring down plagues and kill every first born child.

If I was a Jew living in Jerusalem, between two much greater military powers, like Egypt and Babylon (or Assyria depending on who is ruling what at the time), I'd want my god to be warlike and capable of protecting me too. When you live between Empires it probably pays to be warlike, so Yahweh became like his followers, and his followers like him. Exodus was never meant to be taken literally, it was meant to be taken as a myth promising the followers of Yahweh that they would one day have revenge on those who would harm them.

The difference between a myth like Moses and Exodus, and Hercules and the Hydra, is that no one is wasting their time trying to prove the literal truth of Hercules. There's nothing inherently wrong with Passover (I do find it a little mean spirited, but I know why it's mean spirited), but there is something wrong with pretending that it was a literal event. The literalness of the account shouldn't matter. If your faith depends on "literal truth" you'll die an atheist or an agnostic, because belief is impossible to prove by its very nature.

So I believe in myth as an illustration of a greater truth that science can't prove one way or another. Three thousand years ago in Arcadia a shepherd began to hear a voice say "Pan" over and over again. He answered the voice and wrote a story about it, that story spread to others and more stories were written. While those stories were being written the god might have whispered in the ears of his followers, or perhaps his followers just wrote tales illustrating their perceptions of Pan. Whatever happened, a body of myth grew up around that god, and it was so telling, so vital, and so important, that it has existed for thousands of years and has continually shone a light on Pan and how to interact with Him.

One of the great things about myth is that it is constantly evolving, and it gladdens my heart when my deities pull the heartstrings of poets and writers in the Modern Age. So while the poetry of John Keats might have just been an English assignment for you, for me "I Stood Tip-Toe Upon a Little Hill" is a new piece of the myth of Pan:

So did he feel, who pull'd the boughs aside,
That we might look into a forest wide,
To catch a glimpse of Fawns, and Dryades
Coming with softest rustle through the trees;
And garlands woven of flowers wild, and sweet,
Upheld on ivory wrists, or sporting feet:
Telling us how fair, trembling Syrinx fled
Arcadian Pan, with such a fearful dread.
Poor nymph,--poor Pan,--how he did weep to find,
Nought but a lovely sighing of the wind
Along the reedy stream; a half heard strain,
Full of sweet desolation--balmy pain.

Those who know me well know that I also attach a great deal of significance to Tom Robbins' "Jitterbug Perfume" for similar reasons, and Rick Riordan's "Percy Jackson" series of books also sheds new light on the god.

So yes, myth is very much alive, and it's something I take very seriously.

My Holidays Aren't Violent (Jason vs. Easter and Passover)

Pagan holidays are not violent. They aren't about the murder of innocents, or the re-enactment of a snuff-film. My holidays are about flowering trees and falling leaves, sunshine filled days and moonlight filled nights. As a Pagan I celebrate the cycle of life, and I take no joy in celebrating a "literal death."

Most Aprils the stark contrast between Modern Paganism and Monotheism is at its most vivid. Yesterday was the Jewish Passover, one of the most violent holidays on record. When looked at with a critical eye, Passover is a celebration of mass murder, with a "God" who is obviously not meant to be a deity for all people.

I thought to celebrate The Passover we'd take a look at the words and actions of the "God of Love" I here so much about. At least I understand a little bit better why Republicans do what they do. The italics below are the actual bloodthirsty "words of God," and the regular text is my analysis of those words.

(For those of you unfamiliar with Passover, it's the celebration of Yahweh "passing over" the houses of the Israelites and striking down first born Egyptians. In the Old Testament, the Hebrews were once slaves to Egypt's pharaoh, Passover is a part of the "Exodus" story to the Promised Land (Israel).)

The LORD said to Moses and Aaron in Egypt, “This month is to be for you the first month, the first month of your year. Tell the whole community of Israel that on the tenth day of this month each man is to take a lamb or his family, one for each household.

Two things jump out at me here. If the Israelis are slaves in Egypt while this is going on, they are living a pretty good life as slaves. Each family has a freaking lamb! I've never owned a lamb, not even for a few hours right before dinner time. Oh, and what happens to single Moms here? It's hard to believe a community of slaves are going to have intact families.

If any household is too small for a whole lamb, they must share one with their nearest neighbor, having taken into account the number of people there are. You are to determine the amount of lamb needed in accordance with what each person will eat. The animals you choose must be year-old males without defect, and you may take them from the sheep or the goats. Take care of them until the fourteenth day of the month, when all the members of the community of Israel must slaughter them at twilight.

Not only are these the richest slaves in the world, their blessings are so abundant that they have hundreds of year old male sheep (and goats) without defect! That's pretty amazing. I'm also wondering what the bleeping and baaaing sounded like as all of those animals were slaughtered. Also, why didn't the Egyptians notice all of this going on? That's a lot of livestock.

Then they are to take some of the blood and put it on the sides and tops of the doorframes of the houses where they eat the lambs.

A couple of chalk markings might have worked here, but nope, we've got to use blood. Nothing says "Welcome!" like blood on the door.

That same night they are to eat the meat roasted over the fire, along with bitter herbs, and bread made without yeast. Do not eat the meat raw or boiled in water, but roast it over a fire—with the head, legs and internal organs. Do not leave any of it till morning; if some is left till morning, you must burn it. This is how you are to eat it: with your cloak tucked into your belt, your sandals on your feet and your staff in your hand. Eat it in haste; it is the LORD’s Passover.

Eating is always easier with a staff in hand. Who needs a knife and a fork? Oh and while you are eating one handed, be sure to do it as quickly as possible, and if your cloak comes untucked while you do it . . . . well shame on you. Also, leftovers aren't advised. As slaves you have so much money and extra food lying around, so it's fine to just waste the leftovers. There ya go, throw them in the fire.

“On that same night I will pass through Egypt and strike down every firstborn of both people and animals, and I will bring judgment on all the gods of Egypt. I am the LORD. The blood will be a sign for you on the houses where you are, and when I see the blood, I will pass over you. No destructive plague will touch you when I strike Egypt."

I understand that there were some problems with The Pharaoh and some of his staff, but to kill "every firstborn of both people and animals?" What the hell? I'm guessing the majority of those folks would be innocent bystanders? How bloodthirsty is that!?!?! If anyone asks me why I'm not a monotheist I'll point to this story every time. And don't give me that "your Greek Gods were jack asses" argument either. People take the above stuff literally, Pagans and ancient mythology, not so much.

While it's bad enough that all the first borns died at Passover, what about the animals? The cats prowling around the pyramids committed some atrocities we aren't aware of? I'm sorry, that's just not cool. Fido and Whiskers are pretty blameless.

Growing up I don't think I ever realized how horrible that story was. The amount of innocents that would be killed in such a scenario boggles the mind. But hey, let's raise a toast and thank Yahweh for killing all those kids and animals!

Easter is not much better than Passover folks. I think we are lulled into this false sense of Easter almost being a Pagan holiday due to the eggs, plastic grass, and chocolate bunnies. Yes, it's true Eostara was a fertility goddess, and many of the trappings around Easter are Pagan, but Pagan holidays are never giant snuff films.

"Good Friday" is about a guy dying in a horrible, grizzly, and violent matter. Crucifixion was a horrible way to go. Pagan fertility gods have met some nasty (metaphorical) deaths over the years, but nothing compares to having nails through your palms and ankles. Horrible, and for what? The baffling concept of "original sin?"

This is where Christian theology truly begins to make no sense. "So your God, who is all powerful and knowing created us with flaws? And the only way to get rid of those flaws was to come back to Earth as a man and get crucified?" Really? Why not bathe in some lamb's blood, or drink some wine (which would be the preferable way in my book) to "cleanse the imperfection?" Jesus as a teacher and a prophet I can understand, but the theological gobbledy good attached to him is a head scratcher.

In two weeks I will be celebrating the cross quarter holiday of Beltane, and I'm going to do it without celebrating any deaths. In fact I'm going to be celebrating life on that most high holy day. I'm going to drink some wine (and a lot of cider), laugh with some friends, celebrate in a cathedral of Redwood Trees that afternoon and then delight in the Lady oceanside that evening. You can have your blood sacrifices, and angry deities killing temple cats, I say "here's to life!"

Ben and Me, Faith pretending to be scholarship.

I read the magazine Biblical Archeology Review, not surprising huh? I've been a reader for over a decade and an actual subscriber for the past three or four years. I even had a letter published in there once. The key to my enjoyment of the "BAR" as it's affectionately called by readers is the word "Archeology." BAR knowingly prints articles that refute the "literalness" of the Bible.

The purpose of BAR is to present modern Biblical scholarship (and some pagan too, especially of cultures in the near area) to a mass audience. Some of that scholarship directly contradicts writings in the Old and New Testaments, some of it supports those writings. Most of that scholarship leads to a greater understanding of "why" a Biblical text was written and what life was like two to three thousand years ago in Israel and parts near by.

As someone who is interested in ancient religions it's hard not to like a magazine with cover stories proclaiming "Did God Have a Wife?" Obviously the BAR is not evangelical clap-trap, which gets it into trouble with its readers. Every month the letters column is full of people writing to express their discontent with the magazine, and showing their own ignorance. Scholarship exists outside the world of faith, sometimes it lends support to an argument and sometimes it doesn't. You can't just like scholarship when it backs up your point of view.

One of the most bewildering aspects of the BAR is frequent contributor Ben Witherington III. To me, Witherington is a pseudo-scholar, someone who has Evangelical Christianity cloud his judgement as an academic. A few years ago he was a part of some Christmas show on TV which attempted to prove the Virgin Birth, the star over Bethlehem, etc. Long time friends of Mankey know that I have no problem with those things, I just think that they belong in the realm of "myth" and not literal truth.

I an article on Beliefnet.com Witherington wrote:

"In fact, I would argue that it is highly unlikely Christians would make up a story about a virginal conception, precisely because it would lead to the charge of Jesus' illegitimacy by opponents of the Christian movement. There must have been some historical substance to this tradition for both Matthew and Luke to refer to the matter, independently of each other and in differing ways."

To me that's not scholarship, it's ridiculous conjecture, and I'm amazed that any scholar who wants to be taken seriously in the academic community could ever write those words. There's plenty of "historical substance" for Virgin (Miraculous) Births, it's called the history of pagandom at the time of Jesus. No "god" was born under normal circumstances, it seems ridiculous that Jesus would be the exception to the rule. Religions do not exist in a vacuum, they all influence one another. Most early Christians were Gentiles (pagans), that something with pagan origins ended up in Christianity should not be surprising.

There are other things in the New Testament its self that argue against the Virgin Birth. The obvious one is the Apostle Paul not mentioning it in his letters. The argument that the Apostle Paul makes no mention of the Virgin Birth is a completely valid one, and should not be thrown away as Witherington does in that piece. If the guy closest in time to the earthly existence of Jesus didn't think it was worth mentioning . . . . . how can it be seen as anything other than a later addition? The earliest gospel, Mark, also does not mention it. For me it's an open and shut case. The Virgin Birth is a matter of FAITH, not SCHOLARSHIP.

This leads me to a piece on BAR's website written by Witherington.* Much like the piece on beliefnet, this is a piece trying to prove the literalness of the resurrection. I'm not one to trample on anyone's belief system (though I think challenging it is fair game), but the idea of using scholarship to prove that a guy came back from the dead is ridiculous. Modern science doesn't take vampires and zombies seriously, why should it make an exception for Zombie Jesus? Besides, some things can't be "proven" they can only be accepted or dismissed, especially in matters of faith.

Witherington's argument in today's essay (link at the bottom) is that the story of Jesus' death and resurrection HAS to be true since it was basically shameful. I'll give him some credit, crucifixion was a horrible way to die, and basically said you were an enemy of the Roman State. According to Witherington religions and stories about famous people don't usually involve them dying in horrible circumstances or doing things that would lead to questions and comments from the masses. (This argument is similar to his one for the Virgin Birth.)

Of course that argument is complete bullshit. It took me about two seconds to think of something from pagan antiquity which completely discounted it. If I remember my Greek mythology right, Theseus had sex with his mother, abandoned the woman who saved him from the Minotaur on a deserted island, and ended up killing his father due to sheer laziness. He later became the most famous Athenian ever, was praised and worshipped for centuries, and eventually met his demise by being thrown from a cliff after he had gone out of favor in Athens. Why would I tell stories about this dude?

I'm always surprised that only one culture's mythology is seen as literal. We know that Troy existed but no one argues for the existence of Agamemnon, Odysseus, and Achilles as historical figures. The evidence that Jerusalem was a great city during the reigns of David and Solomon is non-existant, but they are always seen as real people. We know that Jewish slaves didn't build the great pyramids in Egypt (they were built by paid Egyptians and other laborers when they weren't busy being farmers), but people continually talk about Moses as a real person. There's more evidence of an historical King Arthur than a historical Moses, but one mythology is "literally true" and one is not.

The more mainstream media loves "scholars" like Witherington because it plays into the cultural narrative we have established. "Christian and Jewish History" is true, just like the Bible says, and everything else is myth. Dudes are born out of thin air, and rise from the dead. That's about as plausible as a fully armed Athena jumping out of her Dad's head, or Dionysus coming out of Zeus' thigh. Let's try to prove those things happened, there's just as much evidence in the historical record.

Let myth be myth, and religion be religion, and scholarship be scholarship. Stop lumping them all together, and hiding belief under the cloak of academia. Besides, the "literalness" of this stuff is not important. None of it can ever be proven either way, it's always best to just leave it a matter of faith.

http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Movies/The-Nativity-Story/Misconceptions-About-The-Virginal-Conception.aspx#ixzz1JQjSMpab

http://www.bib-arch.org/bar/article.asp?PubID=BSBA&Volume=37&Issue=02&ArticleID=16&Page=0&UserID=0&

*Not surprisingly my letter in the BAR was in response to a Witherington piece.